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The creamy yellow batter was almost finished. I stirred it and nodded my head, as Anna continued informing me of her schedule through the following week. “I really want to keep up horseback riding lessons, maybe I can fit it in on Tuesdays and, Mom, you can not be late picking me up after band practice. It is so embarrassing when I’m the last one.”
“I know, but it is really hard with Brian and I having to share a car. Now that he is going to the community college sometimes you either need to find a ride or just wait. That’s life,” I said preheating the oven. Anna was thirteen today and had grown at least four inches over the summer. Her blonde wavy hair, bright blue eyes and freckles belied the intense, intelligent young woman beneath.
“You could at least pretend to care,” she said and pushed her chair loudly from the counter. “Call me when dinner is ready.” Anna shoved past her brothers, Camron and George, who were sword-fighting with wooden swords they had made themselves. She huffed downstairs, as I frowned and pulled out the cake pans.
Suddenly, a shrieking came from the other side of the room. William and Sarah, six and eight, were fighting over how the birthday throne should look. William was trying to stack another pillow on the already overflowing chair, while the pragmatic Sarah screamed, “William, there will be no place for her to sit. Stop!” It looked like the two had stolen all the blankets and pillows in the house.
Sarah’s conviction that they were done made William all the more insistent they needed another more. It was an easy problem to solve. As the spoon sunk into the batter, I grabbed the aluminum foil, construction paper and glue. “Sarah, why don’t you make the crown and William can finish the chair.”
She leapt at the chance with William begging behind her, “But I wanted to do that!”
“You can both do it.” I laid out the supplies and they were soon happily engaged in the task.
Dinner really was almost ready. The warm roast sat on the counter surrounded with mounds of cooked potatoes, carrots and onions, filling the kitchen with the smell of a Sunday afternoon. The frozen vegetables were almost finished boiling and the Hy-Vee rolls sat expectantly in bread baskets on the set table. I figured the cake could cook while we ate, and we would have our family birthday celebration in the early afternoon.
As I walked back over to the bowl, my hand floated to my large abdomen. How my life would change in six short weeks. I couldn’t wait to hold this new little son in my arms. A new baby had a way of unifying a family like no other thing can. It really had been an easy pregnancy except for gaining so much weight, which was a huge bummer, but worth it- definitely worth it. With my back to the children, facing the counter, I kneaded my stomach trying to make out the head, knees, elbows and feet. Life had been so busy with the beginning of the school year for my six younger children and my oldest son starting college that I hardly had time to think about our new little boy coming so soon.
I began to worry as I pushed and prodded my belly. He was there, but he wasn’t moving. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t remember feeling him move for days. With Marcus I was nearly bruised from the inside out and Anna was notorious for her pointy elbows, but Camron and George had been relatively quiet babies. Once with Camron I had been so nervous, I ran to the hospital for a stress test. The doctor said he didn’t move very much but was within normal limits, and to know Camron today he definitely moved within normal limits and then some.
I tried to calm myself but couldn’t talk away the pit I felt in my stomach and headed silently to my bedroom where I could think. Lying on my back, I closed my eyes and tried to be as still as possible- to focus all my attention on feeling every movement inside of me- anything that would give me reassurance he was okay. It was probably just my imagination, that’s what Dr. Traynor had said.
I had been worried about fetal movement at my last doctor’s visit and brought it up while my huge white midsection was exposed to the world. Dr. Traynor covered his microphone with KY jelly and slid the cold goop-covered metal around on my bare skin. Just as he did, the massive mound shifted and a little bump slid across my belly like a mouse under a carpet. He laughed and said that I really shouldn’t worry about it. The heart rate was good and I was probably just too busy to notice.
“Maybe all the weight you have gained affects how much you can feel the baby move. Don’t worry,” he assured, “After all, from what we have seen here everything looks great.” He had set the next appointment for four weeks away. That was almost three weeks ago.
I smiled trying to feel better, but I didn’t. Something was wrong. I concentrated with all my might for the least movement and determined I would call the hospital immediately if I didn’t feel anything in the next few minutes. Unexpectedly the bed moved and I felt warm arms around me. Anna lied down and snuggled her head up against my shoulder. “Mom, what’s wrong?”
I swallowed back soft tears, “I need to feel the baby move. I’m a little nervous.”
Anna knew my “looks”; I could see in her eyes the fear she saw in mine. We both wanted this baby so badly. She had only been seven when William was born- too young to really understand or enjoy how fleeting those first years are. But not having a baby for so long had left us both hungry for the constant care and joy that a baby can bring. The truth is we both couldn’t wait to drown this little boy in our love. Anna snuggled closer to me without a word and entwined her fingers in mine, looking down at my stomach. Almost on cue, the round center seemed to slide to one side. It wasn’t a kick but it was substantial movement. I sat up with a sigh of relief.
“I’m sorry. I know I get too worried.”
Anna shrugged, “It’s alright, Mom. It is a big deal.”
We smiled at each other- a smile of camaraderie- a truce. Just then my husband Greg walked in the door, “Hey, are we eating sometime soon? I’m starving.”
“Sure,” I said as though nothing was wrong- after all, there was no need to worry him, too. Greg had enough to worry about with heavy church responsibilities and work heating up. The next few weeks at his job were critical. But he had planned it so that the major portion of his project would be completed just in time for the baby to come. I got up from the bed. “I just have to get the cake in.”
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